03/18/15 by Rennie Detore
I don't flying. In fact, I despite it.
Yes, I realize it is the safest form of travel, but that doesn't mean it is the least stressful or annoying. I don't so much mind the idea that I'm 30,000 feet above land but rather 1 foot away from a person or people that I don't know as the two (or three) of us are wedged together in tiny seats or I'm watching them roam among the "cabin" as if they're in the billionaire owner of the plane itself.
How I feel about flying is particularly vexing since I do it quite a bit. I love to travel with with that comes a true disdain for dealing with passengers that I'll gladly pass on every single time I see them on a plane.
Granted, I'm not the perfect flying companion, either. I get air sick. I type on my laptop and, yes, I crawl over the seat just like everyone else to get to the restroom area that is the size of a gym locker. But I certainly know enough to pick my spots carefully and do as little as possible to not bring my flying shortcomings to the forefront and thus badger and slowly break the person sitting next to me.
I can't say the same for the following flying companions who need grounded immediately.
1. The mom with the baby: Before I get scolded for saying I don't think babies should fly, that's not it at all. I don't have any problem whatsoever with moms or dads who travel with newborns who are only a few months old. I understand wholeheartedly that they need to fly just as much as anyone. What I take homage with is more about the spectacle that they knowingly create to ubiquitously draw attention themselves when they don't have it. Sure, moms have to walk around the plane with a fussy baby, which is totally acceptable, but does she need to stop in the aisle and have her mother in law or hubby snap pictures of this event? Naturally, they'll end up on Facebook for sure, but this is hardly the time for a photo op.
2. Tomato juice guy: I'm not singling out people who order just tomato juice on the plane but rather the passengers who act like their seat is a bar stool or simply can't order a drink or food that is relatively low key, and that goes for people who feel the need to bring three course meals on to the plane, too. I recently sat next to the aforementioned tomato juice guy, who had 2 cans of the juice and proceeded to fall asleep next to me and was breathing his tomato like breath in my face. Couldn't just have water, tomato juice guy? Furthermore, as part of the same trip, I sat next to a young lady who was drinking coffee and had steak and cabbage fajita wraps for dinner and couldn't be bothered to inhale them at Baja Fresh before she boarded. Does she really think that everyone on the plane, myself included, wants to smell cooked cabbage during a 3 hour flight.
3. Mr. recliner: I have no qualms or concerns for a person who wants to relax on the plane. If possible, I'd sleep the entire time I was flying, but my nerves won't let that happen. That being said, I do take exception to the person sitting in front of me who reclines their seat so far back that I could rub their temples without moving more than an inch. It's almost as if this person believes that they're the only person on the plane and really doesn't need to concern themselves with the fact that they're giant head is laying in my lap and, in the process, crushing everything from my knees down. If you want to lay down while you're traveling, find a bus ride that is more consistent with your lounge act.
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