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| Dating and Networking

04/17/15

Stumbling blocked: Why your husband won't do certain things -- ever

Most men aren't afraid to admit that they'll be inclined to almost always listen to their wives, without much question or push back. That sentiment might lead women to take liberties with that can and can't say or, more importantly, tell their husband to do assuming that they'll be little resistance on the part of the husband.
While most of the time the "yes, dear" mentality stays strong, men have a tendency to nod in disapproval when asked to do or say certain things that are, as men would say, deal breakers or, at the very least, upsetting to them when posed by their wives.
Let's say for example men are asked to choose between their relationships or career. On the surface, this may seem more like putting priority on family and marriage versus spending too much time at the office, but it also can be men being asked to give up on their career from a goal oriented standpoint. There is a fine line between being all business and driven all the time at the office in comparison to forgetting about what is happening at home, but if the issue is more about men showing drive and determination and then being asked to drop that aspect of their personality, that's just plain wrong.
A 9-5 work schedule isn't always realistic, so giving men (and women for that matter) the kind of support they need to be successful is paramount as to not drive up the resentment factor that could perpetuate. This isn't about ignoring your home life or your spouse but rather sticking to what you are passionate about as it relates to work.
One question broached by wives to their husbands that always appeared on the surface to be quite the head scratching proposal relates to friends and not seeing them as much. Plenty of women have asked their men to not spend as much time with friends as they are. Much like the job factors previously touched upon, this one is about moderation and finding a happy balance between the two.

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If your husband is spending his Friday nights at his friend's house every week and then again resurfacing there on Saturdays, that's an issue. But totally rolling your eyes every time your husband asks to see his buddies for a stray football game or to attend a concert or just hang out won't fly for very long. Furthermore, a big part of a successful relationship is giving your spouse that freedom to spend time with someone other than you, letting them continue to have a life and personality outside the walls of your relationship. Far too often, men and women want that part vanquished completely or downplayed to a very low level, which only serves as a means for would be fighting fodder about being too controlling.
Finding that balance isn't always easy, and sometimes emotions run high and ultimatums are delivered, even though they're often unnecessary in the grand scheme of the working relationship.

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