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04/24/15

Counseling concerns: How to determine when your marriage needs help

Is your marriage in trouble? Furthermore, if it is, when do you employ the help of a marriage counselor?
The answer to the latter question almost is just as pertinent and important as the first given that counseling often times is seen as a last resort and carries with it a negative connotative meaning. For those who have sought out the advice of an unbiased third party, they'll argue that the decision to do so perhaps saved their marriage or at least got the two people in the relationship opening the lines of communication and headed in the right direction.
Whether you opt for counseling or not, you can't argue that it certainly should help but more so there ultimately will be signs that you'll need to do something to help save your marriage. Counseling certainly stands as the most obvious option, but ignoring issues and pretending certain behaviors aren't present is a sure fire way to have any relationship end quickly.
Admitting that you need counseling isn't easy, simply because most likely one of the two people in this relationship are going to downplay the need to talk to someone and assume they can fix it on their own. They're so closed off emotionally or feel embarrassed that their relationship isn't in a good place that counseling is seen as a means of them somehow being incapable or incompetent as the other half of a troubled relationship.
If you notice that you and your significant other tend to argue all the time, to the point that every night ends with silence and restlessness, chances are you've got marriage issues that need addressed. One aspect of a relationship that can easily lead to arguing is some sort of resentment or past event that either one or neither person ever really forgot about, even though they've said over and over again that they've been forgiven.

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And once that feeling permeates through a marriage, you have to wonder when the communication breaks down and the intimacy and closeness dissipates as well. Every relationship reaches that crossroads where it can head toward the direction of repair versus crumbling, and marriage counseling seemingly works to actively affect the former to avoid the latter. Often that unbiased party perfectly assesses issues that the couple can't either handle or have trouble communicating due to other issues that often lead to anger and hostility without the resolution that is needed.
No one, quite frankly, wants to admit that their marriage is in trouble, but often times that is the difference between fixing and faltering moving forward.

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