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| Dating and Networking

06/09/15

Socially awkward: How to be well liked?

Who doesn't want to be liked?
When you were in high school and perhaps weren't the most popular kid, didn't you long for the days of being the captain of the football team or the prom queen? If you didn't, you're lying. Everyone, no matter how much they say otherwise, wants to feel liked and wanted from a social standpoint more than they'll ever let on in public.
Those who dismiss popularity and social popularity as more flash than substance secretly want to know how to up their one on one or group game so that they're not always the outcast of a particular group of friends or find themselves as the one invited out last, if at all.
You may tell yourself that you are who you are, and you're not all of sudden going to be the party animal or life of the party, but that really isn't so much the idea of becoming socially competent. All that needs to happen is more along the lines of tweaking a few things you're not doing at all or, at the very least, not well.
Case in point: count the number of times you make eye contact when you talk or send a sexy glare across the room. Is it meaningful? Do you stare or glance? How about during a conversation socially, do you look the person in the eye for most of the time, but avoid having one of those serial killer stare past them vibes?

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Eye contact is highly underrated and under utilized as a means to socially grasp on to whatever you want out of a situation, namely a relationship. But eye contact can also be beneficial in the workplace when you're standing tall in a meeting or discussing something paramount with the person in charge.
Equally absent from your game is using someone's name in a conversation. Now, we've all been in that situation where a customer service person is using your name so much that it is annoying, as if they pretend to know you because they glanced at your name on your debit card. This, however, is more about being introduced to someone or just knowing a person, and not afraid to use their name for emphasis, to make a point or to show some sincerity along the way. Forgetting a name can be a disaster, especially when you're talking about dating or a relationship that you've been in for a bit and yet still can't recall a first name.
Socially speaking, you may be doing fine. But everyone who's ever uttered a phrase or done something social inept and wanted to either take it back or get better can do so without moving heaven and earth to capture a little better conversation along the way.

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