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| Dating and Networking

08/19/15

Fight plan: It's easy to say totally wrong things during arguments

Any couple that has found themselves in what can only be described as a knock down, drag out argument knows just how easy it is to say the wrong thing in the midst of this fight.
The key is to show some restraint because as easy as those words can come out, you can't take them back. Certain comments, as much as you don't mean them and get caught up in the heat of the moment, you have to be remarkably careful that if you let something slip, you might have consequences of epic proportions as it relates to the future of the relationship.
That can be particularly disheartening if you're married, and in the midst of a fight, you say the four words that will shake that union to the core.
"I want a divorce."
This is one that, even if you don't mean it, isn't the kind of comment that can be dropped or got over, particularly for the one who didn't say it first. Naturally, the person who says it first could also be met with "that's fine with me," but neither person is going to be living this one down any time soon.

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For those couples who aren't married, you still have plenty of applicable ammunition verbally that you can heave on to your significant other. You might just say you "don't want to do this anymore" or that quite simply "you're done" and that could cultivate the feeling from both parties involved that the end is near, even if it isn't.
One avenue that is commonly used by men and women is to assess blame for why the situation is taking place and putting fault on one person, event or what is being said at that moment. Blame isn't going to fix this, so rather than pointing fingers, get to the root of what the issue might be, without being pestering or crude in the process. You also want to refrain from using old issues as part of this argument, particularly if they're of significance and have since been forgotten for quite some time.
Rehashing the past and using it as fodder for this fight only means that the person slinging those insults from months or even years ago shows they haven't let bye gone be bye gone completely and that could be the kind of lingering anger that never truly allows you to move on past that old issue or have a fight in the future that would be fair.
Arguing in relationships exists and typically is rarely avoided completely, but when it does happen ensure that you're being a good listener and not fanning the flame of hostility over helping end this tiff.

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