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| Dating and Networking

09/10/15

Sweet nothings: Why men need to hear something sweet sporadically

When you hear the phrase "whisper sweet nothings," it typically is directed into "her" ear, but what about men?
Do they really need to hear compliments, courtship rhetoric or reasons why they're so loved and adored? You'd think based on the stereotype that men don't feed off sweet, kind language as much as woman that the answer would be somewhere between maybe and not at all.
But the truth is men aren't opposed to hearing things that reinforce how women feel about them and actually engage in building their self esteem or making them understand that the relationship they're in is solid and secure, and the woman has little or no interest in leaving for any reason whatsoever.
Of course, telling a man "I love you" isn't always enough, although it certainly seems an adequate place to start. Men like to hear that they're loved, and not just appreciated for being hard workers or providers, good fathers or great men.
It's more than acceptable to say so.

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Beyond the simple yet effective "I love you" are plenty of sentiments that often are overlooked as being not so much needed but an afterthought just based on the principle, albeit antiquated, that men don't feed off these things like women do.
But what is so wrong about telling a guy after he leaves the gym that he's looking good and is in great shape and kudos to sticking with a diet or New Year's Resolution. And if he's in the midst of a hard day at work, two things will always be more than satisfying for him: knowing that you're listening and that you are understanding and on his side with the problem.
Sure, you can offer advice that is somewhere in the middle, but being neutral or not defending him if he's clearly in the right is definitely wrong. He needs to know that you're not going to abandon him on issues or if he's trying to be the stand up guy and employee, and you're not there to prop him up.
The same goes with hearing him out or listening to what he says. Guys like to vent, truthfully, but they also like to be heard. Often it is assumed that men just rant and rave just to get it "off their chests," but the result still is a want and need to be heard.
So the next time you think something about your man that you'd typically hold back on, say it anyway. It may be exactly what he needs and wants to hear.

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