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| Dating and Networking

11/01/15

Friendship bracing: Why you need to have heart to heart with possessive friend

You've got plenty of friends, right? In fact, you have enough that seeing each of them can be quite taxing, which is why things like social media and texting come in handy.
If you think of something amusing, funny or find something online that is comical, you can ship it right off to them. And most of your friends know that we're all busy, we have lives and work, kids and commitments, and sometimes seeing this person or "getting together" just isn't always in the cards or as easy as you'd believe it to be.
Then, there's that one friend who just isn't interested in hearing how busy you are or how you've met someone and you're spending time with them, and all is going great.
Instead, you'll get a guilt trip or "you can make time" or something of that ilk. What makes it even more annoying is this friend is one that really, quite frankly, doesn't have a life. He isn't busy doing anything, but instead fills his day with fantasy sports and napping when he's not complaining about work.
I have a friend like this.

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He's a great guy, would give you the shirt off his back and is always there if I need him or vice versa, but he's always interested in my time, mostly having as much of it as possible. If I go a few days, a week without seeing him, he's not a happy guy and I have to hear about it.
The reality is that as much of a good guy he is, selfless as he is as far as helping on a moment's notice, he doesn't have much on his plate, but I do, and he's only interested in me making time for him beyond a text or call.
He's harmless, and if he doesn't hear from me, he doesn't just show up or call incessantly, so the matter isn't serious per say, but for these types of friends, you can't be soft with your words but rather the matter needs addressed firmly but without hurting their feelings. These type of friends mean well; they just don't have much else going on and look to you for enjoyment.
But they must understand that you're in the midst of a relationship, have a wife or children, and you'll certainly do all you can to make time for them when possible.
Beyond that, keep in touch via text, even if it isn't enough, and if time ever is on your side, make plans to see them but stay strong in your words that you can't realistically make this friend your first priority.

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