Between the bevy of reality television shows that show the side of dating that isn't realistic and the equally crowded field of online dating sites promising "perfect matches," you have to wonder what happened to the simple act of meeting someone, dating and, with any luck, getting married.
Today's time line probably still follows that same trajectory but often is muddled and misguided with advice, online drama and a false sense of reality, despite claims from some televisions shows that suggest otherwise.
Television perhaps is the biggest culprit of dishing out dating advice that reads more like an episode of the "Real World" than attempting to cultivate a relationship with any true merit or substance. Think about ridiculous shows like the "Bachelor" or "Bachelorette," and it's not hard to draw to the conclusion that not every date takes place in a romantic setting, as part of a rock climbing excursion with a picnic on top of a mountain or within the friendly confines of a hot tub.
Too many men and women take these shows without the proverbial "grain of salt" and instead look upon these trivial television shows as gospel as far as dating and relationships are concerned. Of course, there is still that demographic and viewing audience that enjoy this programming for what it is: entertainment.
Those shows certainly make an attempt to showcase more heart than heart throb, but typically the latter takes precedent on these shows hit the cutting room floor. Drama equals ratings but not necessarily a blue print for relationship success.
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Bubba Thompson found himself in the thralls of reality television in the form of CMT's "Sweet Home Alabama." He managed to turn his experience and would be on air heartbreak into a budding writing career that aims to help men similar to him. He's honest and down to earth and isn't interested in dating games, ploys or the idea that relationships are made or broken based on unrealistic expectations. His "The Cowboy Code" comes out at just the right time as the technology age and too much information should conceivably take a back seat to simple, straightforward dating advice that doesn't over complicate something that is supposed to be fun, minus the trials and tribulations.
That drama often permeates through the online community either before or during a relationship, even on those dating sites that declare their affinity for perfect pairings of couples. There's absolutely nothing wrong with the idea that dating sites simply give you another avenue to find that perfect someone. But it's important to understand the science behind the likes of eHarmony.com and Match.com, among others.
These sites work; there's no question about it. But when they don't, you often find yourself humbly surprised and questioning how this could have happened. No matter how much data you can analyze, compare and contrast and match, online dating is no different or more full proof than meeting someone on your own or a date set up by a group of friends.
These sites view dating as more science and serendipity and sell customers a method of matching based on likes, hobbies and interests. Whatever happened to dating being enjoyable or an endeavor you entered into knowing that it isn't supposed to be perfect? We're not setting out to build the perfect robot a la "Weird Science." Do we really want dating to be meticulous or magical?
The fault in these sites aren't so much the logic but rather the execution on our end.
People are fallible; you make mistakes and have a tendency to embellish the truth, whether that's telling someone you love dogs when you're actually allergic to them or insist that you work out five or six times a week, and you haven't seen the inside of a gym since gym class in high school.
And let's not even get started on the pictures you tend to use when you're trying to put your best foot, or face, forward. The hope is, at the very least, the picture is of you.
No one is telling you to settle, just so you don't have to be single, nor is anyone suggesting that online dating is devilishly misleading.
The only advice you should follow is your own and enter into the dating arena ready for a relationship, rather than battling between what truly is realistic and not overtly false when it comes to finding true love.
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