04/01/14 by Krystin Olinski
No one wants to admit that they're relationship may be in trouble, but often times the signs are so obvious that they're hard to ignore.
You aren't communicating, and everything seems to transform from basic conversation to argument, and thus bickering outweighs playful banter as the chatting of choice.
Some of the signals aren't quite as evident and rank as subtle hints that things aren't going well or simply are heading in the wrong direction.
Either way, you can't ignore what is painfully apparent or if you're starting to ponder one very important question: Is my relationship in trouble?
1. Inadvisable discussions: Every man or women seeks solace in their friends when it comes to opining about your relationship and all of the subsequent shortcomings or your specific frustrations regarding it. But beyond talking to your parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and close friends, you should be concerned if you're starting to have these same questioning conversations about your relationship with the wrong person. For example, if you're out with your girlfriends and you meet a guy and begin addressing how unhappy you are with your relationship, that's not smart, especially if that one therapy session turns into exchanging phone numbers and then seeking that person out to continue the bash session. The combination of that new, budding relationship coupled with your struggles in your current one makes for a terribly tempting concoction.
2. So long to caring: You start missing a few dates here and there, and aren't putting the kind of emphasis on your relationship you once did. Maybe you'll argue the point that being comfortable in a relationship is a good thing, but that logic only has legs if you aren't showing up for dinner in sweat pants. This isn't overemphasizing or putting too much on the superficial but rather just caring about your appearance or actually impressing your significant other. It may not seem like much at the time, but the lack of caring could easily extend into other aspects of the relationship, mainly intimacy and making time for that, too.
3. Interests change: You would assume that one of the reasons you got together in the first place was that you and your significant other shared at least a handful of interests together, whether that's enjoying the same music, movies or general outlook on life. If you're in the midst of a relationship and you find that interests change, that's might be a slow building sign that you're headed in separate directions. Those summertime concerts have transformed into you go one way, and your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband or partner head out somewhere else on the same night. There's nothing wrong with spending time with your friends, having a girl's night out from time to time or knowing inherently that you have freedom to do what you want, but if you find you're spending more time doing that then enjoying the company of your partner, you may scoff it off now and look at it in hindsight as a turning point toward the wrong direction.
4. Avoidance: This one sort of speaks for itself. If you don't make getting together or setting date nights, you've already answered the aforementioned question as to whether your relationship is in trouble. This just in: you should want to be with your significant other, and go out of your way to not only make plans but just seem them even if it's for a few minutes. Avoiding that time at all costs isn't fair to either person and isn't hard to decipher going forward: it's time to call it quits.
Saying so long to your relationship isn't an easy decision but definitely beats the alternative: remaining stressed and stubborn, trying to convince yourself everything is going to be fine, when it reality all parties involved know it's time to move on.
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