04/13/14 by Krystin Olinski
The movie theater often is a magnet for the annoying.
No, this isn't about your $10 movie ticket or having to take out a small loan just for popcorn and drinks but rather the lovely and oblivious movie goers that seemingly pay attention to everything other than the actual film.
And, they certainly aren't concerned with you, either.
Anyone who's been in the midst of vicinity of this particular movie attendee knows just how incredibly rude and nerve racking this person can be, especially since you'd actually like to watch the movie. Apparently, they have little problem spending money for what amounts to no reason whatsoever, since they're more interested in chatting, calling, napping or whatever else they deem paramount while at the movies.
Trying to narrow down the most ubiquitous isn't exactly an easy task but some irritations absolutely outweigh the others.
1. The chatty guy: You have to assume that this talkative man or woman didn't get enough chit chat at the water cooler within the office and can't help but resume their conversation while you're trying to watch the feature film of your choosing. This person can take on several forms, including using their cell phone to make calls or endlessly talking to the person next to them, usually about the most inconsequential of topics. If you want to talk sports, politics or how much you dislike your boss, can't you pick a better venue than the movies? Even worse than the inane banter back and forth is when two people have to openly and loudly ask one another questions about the movie as it is happening.
2. The hungry guy: Eating light en route to the movie theater isn't unheard of, especially if you plan on raiding the concession stand for just about anything that isn't tied down. That chain of events is typical, but what isn't so normal is sitting next to a person who packed a lunch for this two or three hour movie. This pseudo lunch or dinner goes far behind sneaking in a few Junior Mints or a can of soda, but rather a grocery bag filled with cold cuts, cheese, potato chips and even a tub of sour cream dip. Did this person take a wrong turn and end up at the movie theater instead of a party? If these people aren't stacking a club sandwich by the third act of the movie, then they probably opted for a different food related purchase while at the theater: fast food. Nothing personifies ridiculous more than catching a glimpse of someone stuffing their face with a McDonald's or Wendy's bag during the movie. Let's get real, it's called fast food; they couldn't have left the house five minutes early and just ate the burger and fries at the restaurant or in their car. Spare us the onion and mustard smell permeating through the theater, please.
3. The sleepy guy: You may think to yourself that this person isn't really bothering anyone per say. If they don't mind paying to sit in a theater and sleep, then what harm is that to you? Great point, unless of course you're the one sitting next to them, watching them drool on themselves or lay their head on an arm rest you're supposed to be sharing. Suppose you're sitting in front of this sleepy patron, and they decide the want to stretch out their legs on top of your seat. Not much makes a movie more unbearable than having to rest your head between a set of sneakers.
When movie makers, producers and directors alike talk about the "magic of the movies," you have to think they're not talking about people who take away from the show by completely ignoring unspoken etiquette. If you want some real magic, make these people disappear completely from the theater.
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