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| Dating and Networking

02/09/16

Game over: How to know when your relationship is done

Call it "Dead on Arrival" or the exact second when you looked at your girlfriend, boyfriend, partner or husband, wife or significant other and realized that the relationship you once coveted and maintained, enjoyed and reveled in was no over.
The term "over" can be used quite liberally in terms of relationships. You may view your significant other in a way that has changed with one specific action or a series of behavior changes over time, signaling that the honeymoon period for a new couple, for instance, was indeed over.
"Over" might also mean for a married couple the point where difference can't be fixed, arguing permeates through the household and just the sight of the person or the garage door opening at night sends the kind of chills through your body that make you wonder how you could jump through a window and get out as quickly as possible.
Now, that might be a bit of an exaggeration but the fact remains is that every person knows when that relationship "jumps the shark," the term used to discuss television shows when they've reached a point when they're no longer relevant and have officially become insignificant.
Now, I'm not suggest that every relationship is a sitcom that is hard to watch once they add that cute, little boy or girl as a means to save the series, but men and women are smart enough to know when they're trying too hard and fighting for something that just isn't going to change, when the spark is barely a flicker and fact remains that you and the other person in this relationship has checked out long ago.

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How exactly do you tell?
There's really no red light or buzzer, noise or call out when it occurs but rather a feeling when the relationship and its feel just changes. Drastic changes such as a mild mannered girlfriend turning into an argumentative wife may have to do with lifestyle changes, stressors or others that are variables that aren't inherent to the person.
The time element is particularly intriguing in that most relationships that end the parties involved will tell you that the little, romantic things ended as time progressed, and the person changed from being appreciative and grateful to someone that went in the complete opposite direction. Your partner might have gone from your biggest fan to someone who tries to top you, from a good listener to someone who rebuttals at a moment's notice and dismisses what you say.
How the relationship changes depends on the parties involved and one factor that can't be faked: communication. Couples that can talk to one another, be open and honest and recognize, step back and find that moment when things seem to be derailing are the ones that stick together through thick, thin and everything else in between.

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